Paeans - and Aches

over the years

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

(P)ink-stained wretches

My #JournalistValentines from 2016 and 2017

From 2016

***

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sources familiar with developments say
I could get exclusive with you

***

How do I love thee?
...
Let me file a listicle
That counts the ways

***

Deadlines don't matter
For you I am aching
If you don't go out with me
My heart will be #Breaking

***

I'm nuts about you
I have to confess, love
No point denying it
They all know at Press Club

***

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
The Desk says no, that's way to clichéd

***

Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But I have to file by 10pm
Or my boss will slay me

***

I love you more
Than press releases
You make me want
To stop the presses

***

I've searched north and south
and east and west
You're one I want
To be my conflict of interest

***

You say ink-stained wretches
Have no sense of romance
But I love you more
Than my travel allowance

***

Do not doubt my love for you
'Tis more powerful than wild horses
I have confirmation
From two independent sources

***

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou a flack?
Quit that PR agency or if you won't. I'l quit being a hack

***

If you were any sweeter, your last name would be fondant
That's why I want to be your principal correspondent

***

I'll send you all my love by special cargo
And you can keep it in permanent embargo
#PRValentines

***

You and I, darling, have a special accord
Don't you think it's time we went off the record?

***

Some like Barkha & some like Rajdeep
I'm glad I like them both but, peeps,
I wonder if this channel switching
Is really all that bitching

Or are greater TRPs a sign?
Should I watch Newshour at nine?
Should I choose between anchor & anchor?
Or like the nation, watch that wanker?

***

Closing time in the newsroom
& I have an idea, my sweet
The paper will soon be put to bed
We should follow toute suite

***

Roses are red, pink, white, yellow, even black.. Sorry, where was I?
#ScienceWriterEdition

***

Attn: Desk,
Did I make you wait?
I'm so sorry my dears.
This Valentine ain't late,
It's early for next year.

***

2017 batch

***

We're on the same beat and our publications compete
Alas it's only at press conferences that we get to meet

***

Avec moi ce soir, voulez vous coucher?
Say oui and I'll fill out the on-assignment voucher

***

Are things getting intense? Do we need clothes here?
I think we should practice full disclosure.

***

Your advance (copy) has been received and seen
Now, let's both get Lit, if you know what I mean
#BooksPageEdition

***

The markets are up by every index
Let's you and me meet and celebrate the sensex
#BusinessPageEdition

***

With edits and op-eds the editor can fiddle
Let's you and me spend some time fine-tuning your middle
#EditPageEdition

***

What would it take to get you to my kamra?
I could snapchat you my piece-to-camera
#TVEdition

***

Of course it's legal; of course you oughta
I should know; I'm a crime reporter

***

I'd be good for you, you know that my sweet
I spend all my time on the healthcare beat

***

No one will know if we hook up, I solemnly swear
My bylines are all under diplomatic affairs

***

Everyone knows Desk gives the best head
lines. So I'm a copy editor; take me to bed

***

I don't edit copy, I'm not a reporting hack
But I have a column that I could show you in the sack

***

That's a lens in my pocket but I'm happy to see ya
I'm the photographer and I'm good at exposures

***

Yes, you're with @BuzzFeedIndia, but I still think we should date
Here are 17 reasons why I know it will be great

***

I know you're very busy and online there's no off day
But surely you have time for a little @scroll_in the hay?

***

Of course you're very busy with that Page 1 lead today
But maybe later you and I could do an exposé?

***

I would confess my love which has grown & ripened
I would try to woo you but I don't even get a stipend

***

There's also a Storify which collects verses from other people, from both years, here.

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