My #JournalistValentines from 2016 and 2017
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sources familiar with developments say
I could get exclusive with you
How do I love thee?
Let me file a listicle
That counts the ways
Deadlines don't matter
For you I am aching
If you don't go out with me
My heart will be #Breaking
I'm nuts about you
I have to confess, love
No point denying it
They all know at Press Club
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
The Desk says no, that's way to clichéd
Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But I have to file by 10pm
Or my boss will slay me
I love you more
Than press releases
You make me want
To stop the presses
I've searched north and south
and east and west
You're one I want
To be my conflict of interest
You say ink-stained wretches
Have no sense of romance
But I love you more
Than my travel allowance
Do not doubt my love for you
'Tis more powerful than wild horses
I have confirmation
From two independent sources
O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou a flack?
Quit that PR agency or if you won't. I'l quit being a hack
If you were any sweeter, your last name would be fondant
That's why I want to be your principal correspondent
I'll send you all my love by special cargo
And you can keep it in permanent embargo
You and I, darling, have a special accord
Don't you think it's time we went off the record?
Some like Barkha & some like Rajdeep
I'm glad I like them both but, peeps,
I wonder if this channel switching
Is really all that bitching
Or are greater TRPs a sign?
Should I watch Newshour at nine?
Should I choose between anchor & anchor?
Or like the nation, watch that wanker?
Closing time in the newsroom
& I have an idea, my sweet
The paper will soon be put to bed
We should follow toute suite
Roses are red, pink, white, yellow, even black.. Sorry, where was I?
Did I make you wait?
I'm so sorry my dears.
This Valentine ain't late,
It's early for next year.
We're on the same beat and our publications compete
Alas it's only at press conferences that we get to meet
Avec moi ce soir, voulez vous coucher?
Say oui and I'll fill out the on-assignment voucher
Are things getting intense? Do we need clothes here?
I think we should practice full disclosure.
Your advance (copy) has been received and seen
Now, let's both get Lit, if you know what I mean
The markets are up by every index
Let's you and me meet and celebrate the sensex
With edits and op-eds the editor can fiddle
Let's you and me spend some time fine-tuning your middle
What would it take to get you to my kamra?
I could snapchat you my piece-to-camera
Of course it's legal; of course you oughta
I should know; I'm a crime reporter
I'd be good for you, you know that my sweet
I spend all my time on the healthcare beat
No one will know if we hook up, I solemnly swear
My bylines are all under diplomatic affairs
Everyone knows Desk gives the best head
lines. So I'm a copy editor; take me to bed
I don't edit copy, I'm not a reporting hack
But I have a column that I could show you in the sack
That's a lens in my pocket but I'm happy to see ya
I'm the photographer and I'm good at exposures
Yes, you're with @BuzzFeedIndia, but I still think we should date
Here are 17 reasons why I know it will be great
I know you're very busy and online there's no off day
But surely you have time for a little @scroll_in the hay?
Of course you're very busy with that Page 1 lead today
But maybe later you and I could do an exposé?
I would confess my love which has grown & ripened
I would try to woo you but I don't even get a stipend
There's also a Storify which collects verses from other people, from both years, here.